Have you been annoyed by something that happened a while back yet to this day it still makes your blood boil? Well that's basically the reason behind me writing this post.
I have lost count of the amount of times I was told I was "friend-zoning" someone but if you're one of the lucky ones who have never heard of this term before then I'll leave the definition of it below:
"A SITUATION IN WHICH A FRIENDSHIP EXISTS BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE, ONE OF WHOM HAS SEXUAL INTEREST IN THEM WHILE THE OTHER PERSON DOESN'T AND WANTS TO STAY AS FRIENDS."
Now please don't get this confused with someone who has genuine feelings and is disappointed because that's a completely normal way to feel. No, this term solely applies when said person only pretends to be friends with another person to get something out of it in the long run i.e. sex.
If you're someone who doesn't think this is problematic then my four reasons for hating it might make you want to have a rethink.
It suggests that two people can't be friends
If that person feels that angry and hard done by, which again is completely different to being upset, then they were never really a friend in the first place. Fair enough if you're not interested in a relationship or even a friendship for that matter - all you need to do is be honest about it! That way everyone's happy, there isn't anyone whose time or energy is wasted and we can live our lives without this fake entitlement.
It's not even a real zone
I don't know where this term originally came from and to be honest I really don't care because it doesn't exist! That's right, nothing more than a ridiculous concept some idiot probably made up to try get their own way and failed miserably. I bet they're regretting it now!
It makes us look like the ones in the wrong
How dare they not have sexual feelings for you or let you go down their pants? Urgh get a grip! Sure you're allowed to be disappointed that your feelings aren't reciprocated but that doesn't give you or anyone else the right to attack someone for saying no. You should respect that person's feelings regardless whether you like them or not!
It's also pretty sexist
Before I get people going down my neck I already know that anyone can be told they're in the friend zone regardless of their gender or sexuality, but when was the last time you heard a girl being told they're in one? Even when you google the term it comes up with men feeling rejected and some suggestions on how to get out of a girl's friend zone *cringes*.
Ultimately what I'm trying to say is being nice to a woman i.e. treating her like a human being doesn't mean you are entitled to anything from her! Yes some people may only be saying this as a joke and I agree that there are other things going on in the world that we should be worry about right now. Doesn't make the term less narrow-minded though does it? Also I was in need of a rant so all I will say is you're welcome!
What do you think about the term friend zone?
signed, absolutely.
ReplyDeleteluckily, there is no German term for this phenomenom, so it doesn't really exist her in mid-europe (or does it? I'm 28 already, who knows..) but I've come across it on 9gag, mostly. it's weird, and wrong. so wrong.
I guess it's a good thing that there isn't a proper term in German because like you said it's just so wrong! I started hearing it when I was a teenager and have heard it a few times in my 20s but thankfully not as much.
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